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Archive for September, 2010

Symptoms

It’s too early to test, but I’m starting to drive myself crazy with wondering. I’m about 8-9 dpo and waiting to test until Monday (4 more days). In the past I’ve been excited about TTC just to be told that it wasn’t time yet. I really dislike getting all excited for nothing, and it’s been disheartening enough that I don’t like to count my chickens before they hatch any more. So I don’t want to think I’m pregnant if I’m not.

But even still, I can’t help overanalyzing every little thing I feel in my body. So here’s my list so far:

Assuming O on Sept 22:

5-7 dpo really really mild cramping on my left side. Probably wouldn’t have noticed it if I wasn’t looking for it.

6 dpo, exhausted

6-8 dpo, gassy

7 dpo achy right arm and shoulder

7-8 dpo soreness under my right breast

7-8 dpo my breasts feel fuller

7-8 dpo thirsty

7-8 dpo thicker cm

Here’s hoping the next 4 days go fast. The weekend is busy and should be fine, and I’ll test first thing Monday morning. I just have to make it through tomorrow.

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6 dpo and ….

I just ordered my sticks to pee on.  I ordered them online so that I have to wait a few more days until they arrive. Hoping to hold out until next Monday for testing. I’m 33 years old and I’ve never had to POAS before, so this is a new experience for me.

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Sigh

This is going to be harder than I hoped it would be. I’m probably ovulating sometime this week, Mon.-Thur., based on general observation of my body. BF and I have been BDing EOD since last Friday, so last night would have been the best timing, but it didn’t work out. 😦

On the bright side, we want a girl, and if something would have happened last night it would more likely be a boy, according to Shettles method. And my EDD if I were to get pregnant this month is only 1 week before DSS bday, and I wouldn’t want DSS to feel like the new baby is taking away from his bday. But overall, I was still hoping things might work out this month.

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CD1 of cycle #1

Yay! AF started today! Ok, I was a little hopeful that maybe I’d  be POAS tomorrow, since I cheated by a day during my last cycle (I’ve been using the rhytm method for 1.5 years), but now I get to start at the beginning. Obviously, the rhythm method worked really well to keep me from getting pregnant, now if it can only work as well to get me pregnant.

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On living life out of order

Finish college. Get married. Start career. Have baby. That’s the order I always thought life was supposed to go. Apparently my life has had other plans that currently look like: Finish college. Get married. Start career. Get divorced. Become step-mom. Start baby. Get married.

Yes, we’re trying to start a baby before getting married. Since we’ve both been married before, the act of getting engaged and the wedding ceremony isn’t such a big deal. We were hoping to get married this fall, but due to circumstances we’re waiting a few more months. We’re planning to have a quick elopment ceremony at the right time, with only immediate family in attendance.

I don’t want to wait to start trying for a baby. I can hear my biological clock ticking, and I want to leave time for a possible #2 before I turn 40. And I’m scared that I might have a difficult time getting and staying pregnant. I always thought I’d have children by the time I was 33, so it’s been a difficult process to accept that it hasn’t happened yet. I’ve even thought about having a baby on my own in a few years if I wasn’t able to find the right man. Sometimes when I watch my bf with his boys I just feel sad that I don’t have that bond with a child yet. I love his boys, but they already have a mom.

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Hello!

Hello! I’m so excited to be here finally! My SO and I agreed to start trying in September, so now I’m just waiting for CD1….

I’m 33 years old and I’ve always wanted to experience being pregnant and having a baby. I currently have two wonderful step-sons (5 and 2), and I have a new Little Sister (7 yo) matched to me from Big Brothers and Big Sisters. I love having these children in my life, but it doesn’t replace my need to be a mom.

I’ve been married before. When my ex and I first got married we planned on having 2 kids, even going as far as naming them. But he later revised that to 1 kid, and later revised that to no kids, and then later revised that to “I want to have kids, just not with you.” And he was having an affair.

So I’ve moved on, and now I feel like I’m in a happy relationship and ready to start the next part of my life. I think my experience with my ex has made me extra jumpy. I keep worrying that my SO will change his mind. But we’ve been talking about this for a while and he’s still around, so here we go!

Sometimes I feel old to be just starting this process, but sometimes I wonder if I should wait longer. Right now we’re just hoping for one baby, but I think we’d both be open to a second if circumstances are right in a few years. Which means that I need to start now if a 2nd can still be an option in a few years.

I’m hoping that it won’t be too hard. Otherwise why have I been trying to hard to not get pregnant for so many years?

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