Archive for June, 2012

We can’t catch a break

I finally felt my energy levels return to normal on Wednesday after 2 1/2 weeks of flu. Things seemed to be returning to normal. I was enjoying having the boys around so much. I’ve taken my clomid this week on CD 5-9, and even though it’s 100 mg, I’ve felt good so far, and felt optimistic about our upcoming IUI. And then, yesterday, my husband seems to have come down with the flu. At first we thought it was food poisoning or the stomach flu. But now he’s been feverish for 24 hours, and I think it’s time to admit that it’s the flu. Obviously, I want him to feel good, and for us to get back into a “normal” routine. But I’m also worried about what the fever means for TTC. He already has a low sperm count, and now I’m worried that this IUI isn’t going to have good numbers, and because it takes three months to regenerate sperm, the next IUI (early August) might be out, and possibly even the following one (late August/early September). After working so hard to get my body ready, I might only have 6 months before the endo is back doing its thing (other than the endometrioma), and to spend three months with less than ideal sperm is frightening. Last night his fever was 99.7. It doesn’t seem to have spiked as high as mine did, and I’m hoping that he can keep it down today. I’m beginning to wonder if I’m just not meant to reproduce.


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Just had my CD3 ultrasound, and it was by the other, other Dr. Dr. B was my first RE and the surgeon for my lap. Dr. C. is my new RE, and Dr. T works in the same office as Dr. C. Dr. T seemed less concerned with the endo than the other two. He reiterated that endo is an aggressive disease and Dr. B. is a good surgeon; he doesn’t think Dr. B. missed anything during the surgery. I wasn’t blaming Dr. B. either, but it was good to hear it reinforced.

I did have some questions/concerns about Dr. C. starting me on 100 mg of clomid. Dr. T. asked if I wanted to start on 50 instead, and I just said that I want to get pregnant. He said he didn’t know what the right answer was either, and that we just have to try it to find out how I’ll respond to it. So I’m starting 100mg.

The ultrasound was as expected. The endometrioma hasn’t grown, but there might be a small endometrioma starting on my other ovary. But I have follicles.

When I went to check out at the dr. office, I realized I left my wallet at home! I must have seemed really panicked because the girls at the front told me to relax and handed me a tissue. And then the other one read a happy quote from her iphone about letting go of stress so it doesn’t affect your health.

I cancelled my trip to Anaheim. I feel somewhat guilty and somewhat relieved. I don’t want to fly with an ear infection, but I hope I wasn’t overreacting.

Our fridge is being looked at today. Apparently the temperature gauge isn’t regulating the temps right, and the compressor coil is freezing over, causing the refrigerator to not get cool enough. I don’t mind if the repair person can’t fix it because the fridge can be replaced with our home warranty. I’m more worried that it will be a continuing problem and will fail after the warranty has expired.

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Cycle #23

AF started yesterday. And I still have too much fluid in my ear from the ear infection to fly, so I think I’m going to have to cancel my conference travel this weekend. And our refrigerator is dying. And the boys are about to spend 7 days in a row with us! I don’t think we’ve ever had them that long. Of course, it was a last minute schedule change, like everything their mom does, so we weren’t able to plan anything special, even though it’s the older one’s bday weekend.

Needless to say, I’m getting rather overwhelmed with everything, and the thought of scheduling an ultrasound this week and starting clomid over the weekend was making me crazy. But, I’ve spent a lot of time and effort to get my body to this place, even if the endometrioma is still there, and I’m getting over being sicker than I’ve ever been before. Having to see a dr. last weekend made me feel like I’ve been to enough drs for the week. But, I need to take advantage of these next 6 months, and I need to start the IUIs. So, the ultrasound is scheduled for tomorrow morning at 8:30am. I was originally supposed to be on a flight at 12:30pm, and I thought I would need to get clomid between the ultrasound an the flight, but canceling the trip makes everything saner. Too bad though, I was looking forward to seeing my friends.

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More flu

This flu just isn’t leaving me alone. Yesterday morning I ended up in urgent care with pink eye in both eyes and an ear infection. The dr. gave me antibiotics for my eyes and ear. I’m supposed to be flying on Friday to a conference for work, and I’m starting to wonder if I’ll make it. I’ve already missed 5 days of work, and I’ll probably stay home tomorrow too. I’ve also been downing cold/flu medicine like there’s no tomorrow.

In other news I’m 14dpo. I haven’t tested yet because I don’t really believe I could be pregnant. I’m also not coordinated enough right now to get all of my supplies together in the morning. I haven’t been temping all week since I’ve been sick, so I have no idea what my temps are doing. But when I get my period, I need to call for a baseline ultrasound. As if I don’t have enough to do this week. I feel so stressed and overwhelmed, and this is why I got sick in the first place.


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Summer flu

I’ve been so stressed out recently with moving houses, work stuff, infertility stuff, and an expanded stepmom role (weekend visits are now 3 nights instead of 1 night). It finally caught up to me on Monday with a high fever. I had to push through cleaning all of the new house on Monday before succumbing to the fever because I knew I wouldn’t be up for cleaning for a while, and I hadn’t cleaned at all since before moving in. The entire time I was on Lupron I wasn’t seriously sick, but now that I’ve ovulated, I had a high fever. I really hate getting sick after ovulation time because I always worry it will affect any implantation, and this high fever (probably around 101) was on 8dpo. I never feel confident about taking ibuprofen or mega doses of vitamin C after O time, so I have a hard time trying to figure out how to treat this. Ultimately I felt so bad that I gave in and took ibuprofen. Realistically, my lining is probably old and it’s not a good cycle to get pregnant, even if I could.

The week before I had a horrible pelvic pain around 3dpo. It was reminiscent of pain I had almost 8 years ago. I think it’s related to ovulation and/or endometriosis, but I don’t really know how. I’m not very happy with my body today.

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The “others”

Today was my first appointment at the “other fertility clinic,” or, “the real fertility clinic,” or “the out-of-network fertility clinic,” depending on my mood. I have a much lower insurance coverage at this clinic, and they’re the pricey ones. They seem to hand out ultrasounds like candy.

I had an initial consult with the RE. He highly recommended IVF for my situation, but agreed that IUIs weren’t a terrible shot. Then he took me back for a pelvic exam and ultrasound. I get so tense for these exams, and he told me that I have involuntary clenching of my vaginal muscles, and showed me how to deal with it. No one has ever coached me through these exams before, and it was so nice to find out ways to make it easier. He said about 15% of the population has the same issue.

And then I had an ultrasound, the first since my surgery. The fucking endometrioma is still there, and is about the same size, 60mm x 35 mm, or something close to that. So either my other RE didn’t get it all, or I have an aggressive form of the disease. He said my other RE is a good surgeon, and he would be surprised if it was his fault. He’s willing to do some medicated IUIs with me. The cyst may or may not interfere. If I don’t get pregnant he’d want to do another lap before IVF or more treatments. So I’m supposed to call when my period starts for a baseline ultrasound, and then we’ll go ahead with clomid IUIs. He starts with 100 mg of clomid, which is twice what I took before.

I can’t seem to catch a break. And I’m getting used to all of this bad news. They looked so serious when they were giving me the news, and I told them so. This was a much different reaction than the first time I saw my cyst. I think I need to name it.

I think I ovulated yesterday. We didn’t use protection like my first RE suggested, but this RE didn’t think it was a problem. And he’s ok with moving ahead with the IUIs next month.

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HSG follow-up

I’ve been super busy recently with moving to our new house and getting totally overwhelmed at work. Last Tuesday I had my follow-up consult with my RE after my HSG. He said the HSG looked good, and I should be ready to start TTC again soon. But he wants me to wait through one “normal” cycle after my period starts following the Lupron treatment. I still haven’t ovulated yet, so my period will probably be here by the end of June, which means that I need to wait until early August, at the soonest, to start TTC again. The RE suggested condoms until then, but I’m not sure I want to go to there.

I also had my TSH levels tested, and they came back at 2.030. Which isn’t bad, but it’s a full point higher than it was one year ago. And since it’s best to be between 1 and 2 for TTC, it makes me nervous. But the RE doesn’t want to change my dose.

I have a consult at the other clinic in town tomorrow. I’d like to use them for my IUIs since they’re open on weekends if I need it.

I turned 35 last Thursday. That means I’m of “advanced maternal age.” I always wanted to be done having two children by the time I was 35.

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