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Archive for April, 2013

1 week

Our profile ended up going up on the out-of-state agency’s website the same day I posted last week. So we’ve been officially waiting for 1 week. I haven’t heard anything from them since the birthmom last week, but that’s not surprising. We painted the nursery over the weekend! It’s now a nice beige that should work well with pink or blue.

I also started to feel sorry for myself over the weekend, and ended up fighting with my husband. My stepsons’ mom has been difficult to deal with recently, and I was really annoyed that I have to deal with her in my life. Of course, the only reason I have to deal with her is because my husband chose to have babies with her. And it makes me mad that he was able to have babies with her and not with me, so I ended up resenting him. And I get mad when he doesn’t try to make things better for me. He admits that he gives in to her demands so that he doesn’t have to fight with her, but he doesn’t do the same for me. But he reminded me that we’re on our own path now. He may have been able to make babies with her, but he didn’t experience infertility or adoption with her, and going through these experiences together is making our bond stronger.

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Actively waiting!

All of the paperwork and fees have been received by the right people, and we are now active “parents in waiting” at both agencies! We are paper pregnant! The only little thing left is for our profile to go up on the out-of-state agency’s website. I think they update the website every few weeks.

Yesterday we were contacted by the out-of-state agency to ask if we wanted our profile shown to a potential birthmom who met some of our “will discuss” criteria. We spent a frantic hour researching this issue, and decided to have our profile shown. Somehow I didn’t feel like this was our baby though. I felt like this was more of a test for us to define exactly what we wanted. I also didn’t think our profile would speak to this mom. And this morning they emailed to say that the mom had chosen another profile, so my gut feeling was correct. I feel strangely calm that our baby will come to us at the right time.

Yesterday I tried to call our local social worker to ask about the issue, and their fax machine was hooked up to their main office number. Which means that if any expectant moms tried to call over the weekend they would have gotten the fax machine. Sigh. This is exactly why we decided to go with an out-of-state agency.

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Parents-in-waiting waiting

It’s time for my normal Tuesday rant about how long this paperwork is taking…

Last Tuesday we signed the homestudy and were told that it would be emailed “soon,” and we would be copied on the email. When I didn’t hear anything by Thursday I sent our social worker an email. She responded and said that it was sent earlier and I was copied, so she didn’t know why I hadn’t gotten it, but she attached the finalized homestudy. When I looked at the email she was referred to, it was an email about the earlier draft that had been sent to the out-of-state agency for approval, and not the final version. And the homestudy she attached was the one with inaccurate information. I emailed and told her that it wasn’t correct, so she looked through her email again, and found the correct homestudy, and found that it had been emailed on Tuesday after all, but I hadn’t been copied. So she sent me the email. When I looked at the email that had been sent to the other agency, they had just scanned all of the documents in as individual jpegs, and given them file names like “image1”, “image2”, etc. I couldn’t believe that they hadn’t even converted them into pdfs. So I took the time to convert everything into pdfs and gave them better file names, and sent them to our other social worker. At that point, I found out that the other social worker was on vacation for a few days. But at least she had an out of office email message so I knew what was going on, unlike the local social worker. As I was looking through the documents I also noticed a place for our local social worker’s signature that she hadn’t completed. When I emailed to ask her about it, she said it shouldn’t have been sent off to the other agency anyways. ugh. But, eventually, all of our documents got there in some form or another.

Our out of state social worker reviewed the documents yesterday and sent us an email that we were approved as parents in waiting! Of course, they have to wait until they receive our payment before they can start showing our profile. But, I mailed the check today, and hopefully they’ll receive it before the weekend.

In other good news, our profile is finally live on our local agency’s website!

The check I mailed today is the largest single payment we’ve made on this journey, and is equivalent to all of our infertility treatments, including my surgery. So, we have finally tipped the balance and are more invested in adoption!

Hopefully my next update will be to say that we’re in the waiting pool for both agencies.

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Still waiting

Last week our local agency emailed the draft homestudy to the out-of-state agency on Tuesday. The out-of-state agency replied by Thursday with some more information they needed. I emailed the extra information to our social worker by Thursday night and asked if we could sign the homestudy Monday morning. However, it turned out that our local agency was closed on Friday because all of the schools have Good Friday off, and she seems to take every school holiday off as well to be with her kids. So, I knew that we wouldn’t be able to sign the homestudy on Monday. We went in this morning (Tuesday) to sign it, and of course she was having printer problems. But, at least she had printed out the signature page for us to sign. Then, she was planning on snail mailing the homestudy and last pieces of paperwork to the out-of-state agency (even though they said they preferred email or fax), but luckily, with the printer not working, she decided to email it and scan in the signature page. I can’t believe we finished all of our homestudy requirements a full month ago and we’re still waiting for the report to be finished! So now we’re waiting for her to actually scan and email the documents.

But in good news, both of our agencies say their waitlists are very small right now!

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