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Archive for June, 2013

We got “the call!” We’ve been matched with an expectant mom! The call came while I was at work yesterday. A baby boy is due on July 18 in our hometown, and we’ve been chosen to parent! Of course, none of this seems real yet. We’re supposed to meet with the hopeful birthmom next week, and I think it will all seem very abstract until that moment. But, with the due date only 3 weeks away I’ve had to start making arrangements with my work. I’m trying to tell only those that need to know and not announce until after the baby arrives, but this is going to be difficult. Lots of birthmoms change their minds and decide to parent after they hold their baby for the first time, so I’m trying to stay cautiously optimistic….

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Another situation

Our local agency contacted us yesterday with a possible situation to see if we were interested. It feels surreal to spend the night researching the effects of prenatal meth exposure. Obviously, this isn’t anything I would have even considered doing, much less while I was pregnant. And now it’s a part of my story. It makes me sad on so many levels. I’m sad that I’m not able to control the prenatal environment of my baby. I’m sad that these babies won’t start life with the best situation. I’m sad for the expectant moms that these chemicals are so addictive that they’re unable to stop for their baby. And, in a strange way, I’m sad that I’m given the choice of whether or not to accept the situation. I almost wish I could just be given a baby, and then have to figure it out as I go. But now I spend the night trying to tease apart propaganda and bias from truth. I agonize over what our life will be if our baby is seriously affected by exposure to any drug or alcohol. And I worry that my husband is going to go along with me now, but resent me later for getting us in over our heads. I also try to resolve my idea of life with a newborn with descriptions of newborns going through withdrawal. It all feels so grown up and scary.

Ultimately, this particular situation doesn’t seem like our baby. The expectant mom came to the agency with an identified family, and the agency is just looking for backups in case the family backs out. But this type of situation will come up again.

In more positive news, the agency said that they’ve been busy recently. In fact, they’re meeting with another expectant mom tonight and will be presenting profiles, including ours. They haven’t had to contact us with other situations yet, so hopefully this means that most babies are healthy.

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8 week update

Our adoption agency called today with our 8 week update. I’d been expecting the update, but I thought it would be emailed instead of a phone call. I was holding a piece of pizza when they called, and dropped the pizza on it’s face when I saw the caller id.

She had no information for us. She couldn’t say how many times our profile had been sent out, or what any reactions to the profile were. She wasn’t even able to say how many matches had been made in the past two months by the agency. She just wanted to see how we were doing, but didn’t have any suggestions about anything. I’m glad to know they still have us on their radar, but I wish I could have heard something just a bit encouraging.

Waiting is hard, but I realize in the big picture we’re still new to the waiting game. I feel myself pulling away from my infertility support group and adoption friends, but I have to focus on other things in order to not let it consume my thoughts. I have a friend who started the adoption process  at exactly the same time as us, and I was hoping that she’d be with me for the wait. But her daughter is turning 2 months old this week. 🙂 So excited for her, but it makes me realize there is no rhyme or reason to adoption!

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36 and waiting

On Friday I turned 36. In my original life plan i was supposed to be done having children by the time I turned 35. Even in my revised plan, after my new marriage, I was supposed to supposed to have the first one before my 35th year. And now I’m 36 with no children of my own. But hopefully I’m making progress toward my little one, even if it doesn’t feel like it.

When I signed up to be a Big Sister through Big Brothers and Big Sisters I was excited to have a Little Sister. I started the application in December. There are also lots of background checks, fingerprints, reference letters, and interviews to be a Big Sister, and my file was finally completed by April. They told me I would be matched soon, but never gave me a time frame. I was excited for several weeks, and kept waiting for an email or phone call. I looked through their website and subscribed to email letters. But I didn’t heard anything. Eventually I became so annoyed with the program that I unsubscribed to all of the newsletters, and decided that being a Big Sister wasn’t going to happen for me. Eventually, the call came in mid August while I was on vacation. Because I wasn’t sure I wanted to do it any more, I took a few days to return the call. And then I decided to meet the little girl they matched me with. And now I’ve been matched with my Little Sister for almost 3 years.

It only took 4 months to find my Little Sister. For my hopeful baby, the timeline is similar so far: application started in December, file completed by April. It would be amazing to find my baby by August too.

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